And here I attempt to reach the finishing of my own experience while accumulating two ways of thinking together and wondering if it makes any difference!

People of our nation have always been bent on considering themselves so genuine and yes sometimes they found their great defeat and loss at the place where they had kept them and there’s no change of place! They carried them out but with no ray of hope.

At 6 o'clock my phone rang as it is accustomed to being associated with specific holidays, days and festivals. There was a message from my friend!  it's been so long she left India as she mentioned once the time her forefathers had left. It was since 1963 when she was not born even! She has been in London for many years. She was born and has been brought up there only! But she is an Indian by nationality. We had been together in our tour of Kerala and had a memorable, nostalgic time spent together.

Her text in the early morning wished me and congratulated me on independence day. She has never been so acquainted with Indian History and that is the reason she always takes delight in it. By profession she is an accountant so never has she read historical books or literature but has liking for it. Never she fails to spare time to read whatever I write!

Whenever I have conversation with her, I become so fascinated. Like, we never value the place, its people and things we have been endowed with, I found and find her curious each time just because she understands the value of her belongingness and difference that one finds between two things that has been achieved or other that one has not been able to get! I believe if we feel the sense of BELONGINGNESS, of course not POSSESSION, we can value! And that is why I, perhaps am writing this.

This write up has multiple nostalgias when I along with her visited San Francisco Church, situated in Kochi. It is one of the oldest European Churches in India that witnessed a large colonial struggle and Vasco Da Gama, an Explorer,  a struggler or a researcher met his death and his body was buried there!

It has now become moment of realization with an abrupt question  which was asked to me, although not unexpectedly! Reason is so genuine and it was she and her perceptiveness, and curiosity to explore and receive the things or let not them pass away without a glance! Question stands after having got to listen to something about colonial struggle and how India was dominated and the only characteristic she wanted to know about freedom fighters and those aborigines that fought for their belonging. She asked, ‘‘I have never been to India before but I think yes, I came once in erstwhile time and was too young. But how is it? “ And that was the time I am depicting and contradicting here with resent time. I felt Indianness for a moment, you know! Very proudly I answered, “ I have not referred to history with that much appropriation with delightfulness and genuine liking but yes I know something about how people, some with violence and some with nonviolence fought along with some great heads whose manners are so priceless even today but I would not explain more as to what they did because it would take me some time to recall those pages of history, dates and years when all this started and history is like a vague memory!  It remains permanent. It is not transient but it goes on changing its image in course of time, in addition to recent insights, sights and discernment with reference to the things that are prevalent now a days in present time. It is accumulated together with today’s presence and historical sense because past, present and future travel together on same path. Yes, effects have left their marks but yes It is a country full of many religions, cultures, dialects, traditions and people with their different standards and livings. In one family you will find an amalgamation of literacy and illiteracy. They accept change to ERADICATE unnecessary customs, rites and even psyche ultimately to bring the change as an ANARCHIST. You will find family values with one’s own space. There are too many festivals to celebrate worldly and earthly feeling in which religion, relations, arts, nature, epics, deities, almighty, upcoming year are celebrated. These all come together in abundance with essence. We people believe in becoming submissive to “possibilities” but not to “circumstances”! And that is why freedom struggle had been a grand success." How would I not have loved my country and kept its image in treasure of gold with pride while I was being asked about it and I was being given privilege to describe it?

But while going back and having got to see her text message on 15th August , 2014 at 6 o’clock, I felt so excluded! It encouraged self questioning. Not I am philosophising here, please! But I was very much aware that this independence day would be a day of becoming prompt in making talks of development, women empowerment, eradication of social evils, its politics and nation!

Freedom - conflict in itself. Isn’t it? Does it not bring individualism in place of independence? It is to give a space of one’s own. It amalgamates unity and equivalent rights. Unity doesn’t differ from it. Freedom is to put heads together after having been of the same mind. It is to put heads together with perceptiveness. But!!!!!! Every time this day remains unexpectedly prompt in its arrival with no change and we persist in our habit of being used to talking about our nation as a cultured society where a few of us have always been bent on telling that the victim of Delhi Gang Rape could have survived if she hadn’t been with her male friend at night but none of them care to understand that who they blamed had right to roam at night without hesitation. There is no wrong in accompanying loved ones, or beloved and it also does not give you right to rape her! Isn’t it fall of man in loss of perceptiveness rather than that fall of man for what woman is accused in “paradise lost”? That accusation is still prevalent into our psyche!

They are of one kind - aborigines (people), who blame clothing than that of perversion with negligence of psychological study. This psychological study consists of something. It is conceived mind and issues of mentality or conservatism. These all come from social world which has been made by an individual. Society doesn’t make individual and still on independence day you proclaim equality, and abolition of evils in which you have had your own contribution in spite of your suffering and whatever you have turned in addition to your realization that says, “it is worst”!

Freedom itself loses its charm when still a mother addresses her daughter with the only predicament, “Stay here, don’t go away until I come here.” This threat remains. Many a times says, “ He is a boy- (as if he is the incarnation of lord Shiva himself and no one can harm him but some of them are incarnation of Shaitaan, what about that? ) you’re a girl! “ I don’t understand why this! She can earn, make living, love, manage, or do everything in more better way as much as he does. These differences have been coming from “origin” . Some good activists along with some good outsiders and foreigners had been in attempts to abolish them but why do they still remain alive?

It has become freedom now, when journalism has turned out to be an industry or business, where ethics of journalism in providing truth to people are not being followed.

When people are supposed to question, they remain mute on the very moment that is supposed to be voiced!

In present context, blindness to drawbacks is freedom!

Rules are made by man but here man is made by rules. And what a unique characteristic! It feels as if some are privileged to break them but some are not!

Sheer Irony: Here one is arrested with accusation of giving right tongue to any matter, political matter or its leader! But what about that freedom when rape victim’s fake images were exposed or her personal identity was being revealed?

Freedom is everyone’s right. Here each election motivates to feel difference between casting your vote and voting your cast.

The place where Ramayana, Mahabharata, Bible, other countries’ literature along with religious messages, history, distortion of historical facts, family values, corruption, politics, economics, technology, science (geography, social science, sociology, medical, engineering, astrology, Vaastushashtra) are studied as well as searched with genuine interest and what a rare versatility it would have been if some evils could have been restricted! A country where the children grow up seeing characters of Mahabharata and Ramayana! The place where art, culture, music, classics are made under one tag that is so adjacent to “sanskruti”! In acquiring all these, where people devote their instincts to polish their way of path, their ART turns out to be SKILL that has remained injurious to their life. Reason? Only a few belong to star family or specific background, and others tremble with fear in the hands of politics. Yes a few are those who have been successful but obstacles were there too!

Here, people won’t understand that changing syllabus or to improve its standard will not let country be educated until it is in hands of politics. It makes one literate only but not EDUCATED!

Here, the country is known for its oneness, unity, harmony where students hardly feeling that they are learning. Deserved remain outsiders. Money has been only way to success or destruction as well!
No matter how many movies, classics are made to reform like Tiranga, Rang De Basanti, Krantiveer, Lajja, Pinjar, Gandhi, The Legend Of Bhagat Singh, Mother India, Border, Lagaan, Mangal Pandey. It is nothing less than zero.

The land is made of notorious politicians ( not only those who are connected to politics but also those who are way better politicians in daily life, at smallest moment, at smallest field than that of political leaders!) and is empty in absence of one anarchist who generally does not have possession but also has sense of belongingness along with perceptiveness! Cursed are ill treated but not accused! Rapists still roaming around freely to attack! Religion and its definition has become complex term to define. You cannot determine whether it is superstition or their faith, worship or they just do believe in almighty to be redeemed for they just accepted their defeat. Let the performance and reverence towards it go away and they become puppet in hands of Religious monks!

No matter with how much intellect and insight or experience Rajat Kapoor makes “ Aankhon Dekhi” but rare is in the case and a few people might have watched it! In spite of having eyed unfair and wrong happening, they let it be unseen! But here, how can I let these things go unseen without a single sight? I cannot do that!

Many of us have seen this nation described here! Haven’t we? The note seems to be pessimistic but really it is not. The reason is it leads me along with you to transform it into optimistic vision because someone is encroaching on our land and it is “evil” that imposes its own ways on us and I don’t insist on its staying here like I have seen some beautiful glimpses of the nation and held smile on my face!

Here, I amalgamated both the times together when I described the country and became so proud giving answer to my friend just because I didn’t mention or think of calamities that would be heading but now I couldn’t escape and cannot even prevail on myself with its ornaments only but I see problems. The conversation which I found at that time so precious, here turns out to be a realization with perceptiveness and I still recall the sentence I spoke.

“submissive to possibilities not to circumstances”.

When you actually need a genuine start to think to absorb , to discern, there will occur so many words! I’m writing this to combine both experiences, realization together that itself shows that I’m not possessed with this nation but I belong to it and find problems.

Her question in Kerala and her greetings on independence day made me write a few notes.

My experience!

From San Francisco Church to Travel Diary of Kerala, April 2011! From "An early morning text message", 15th August , 2014 to Travel Diary of Kerala to assemble both the realizations together!



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